Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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