Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
