you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
