I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
