i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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