i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
