I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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