cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
