is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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