one two three fourrrrnication!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
