Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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