I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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