he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
