you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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