If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She told me I should be a condom model.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize