Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic

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  (317): You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic http://tfl.nu/71gh
  Replies (1) Good night (1469) Bad night (813)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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  (636): I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me? http://tfl.nu/6q93
  Replies (7) Good night (1381) Bad night (564)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3330) Bad night (1532)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you

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  (817): Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/97p3
  Replies (16) Good night (1124) Bad night (4162)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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  (417): My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah. http://tfl.nu/uiae
  Replies (12) Good night (4511) Bad night (1410)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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  (480): he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug http://tfl.nu/z2q2
  Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (4864)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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  (303): We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen. http://tfl.nu/slj5
  Replies (22) Good night (7183) Bad night (997)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.

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  (630): We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives. http://tfl.nu/wwoi
  Replies (5) Good night (4008) Bad night (985)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.

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  (970): going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after. http://tfl.nu/sghm
  Replies (8) Good night (4039) Bad night (854)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.

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  (715): During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me. http://tfl.nu/euwh
  Replies (30) Good night (4891) Bad night (1068)
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  (841): View more from

  That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.

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  (841): That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead. http://tfl.nu/kk8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1431) Bad night (784)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts

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  (256): 2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts http://tfl.nu/zqnp
  Replies (8) Good night (1320) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's a mixed blessing.

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  (919): Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day. (1-919): I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover. (919): It's a mixed blessing. http://tfl.nu/jmyr
  Replies (10) Good night (1639) Bad night (500)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie

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  (508): Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie http://tfl.nu/abbt
  Replies (5) Good night (1042) Bad night (296)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

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  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (343)

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