So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.