i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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