At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.