I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
