WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...