It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
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Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked