How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.