Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.