I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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