I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity