I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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