I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
