Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
