I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
"it" just moved
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
