HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
