Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
