you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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