I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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