I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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