I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
