I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
