the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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