her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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