Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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