Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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