I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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