Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
