so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
