I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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