I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
