if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
