so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
