I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
