I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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