i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize