when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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