she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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