she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
