how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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