I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
