he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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