if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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