guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
