It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
