remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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