dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
