no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
