ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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