how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
