Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
