my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
