She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
