well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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