brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
